I offer choices, and each choice has some pluses and minuses. The choices range from absolute confidentiality, to exceptional situations in the person’s interest, to exceptional situations in the firm’s interest, to regular updates with the firm. I get everyone to agree to the choice they make ahead of time.

Absolute confidentiality. At one end of the range, individual coaching is top secret except with the individual's permission. If the individual insists on absolute confidentiality, we continue as long as we are working on issues that are important for the person and the firm and are making progress. I will pull the plug if we are not making progress. In that case, I tell the firm and the person, let’s find somebody else because I am not the right answer for you. 

Exceptional situations in the person’s interest. It might be in the person’s interest to violate a confidence. There could be a solution where there’d be a 99% chance that the person and firm would like the outcome, but we can’t get to that solution without revealing the person's confidence. I ask the person if I should I have his or her career suffer out of my desire to respect confidences; he or she might miss an opportunity. I try to work with the person to make it possible without violating confidentiality but occasionally that that happens.

Exceptional situations in the firm’s interest.  These occur when I learn the person will do something terrible that will be a grave disaster for the firm or if I learn from the person that someone else will cause a grave problem. If I learn from the coachee something that is important to the firm, I would like the person to tell the firm, but I may have to tell the firm if the coachee can’t or doesn’t want me to. I understand that telling the firm might sever the coaching relationship so I counsel individuals not to tell me things that are horrible for the firm because although I will try not to, I might have to repeat them. In my career I have never done it, but it might happen. If the person has a problem that is not visible to others, is harmful to the firm, we discuss what the person should do about the problem. If the person chooses to do nothing about it and I am not convinced the problem will resolve itself, I have to say something to the firm.

Regular sharing. This covers attendance, level of engagement, and whether progress is being made on the issues identified. If I were the head of the firm, I would like to know that the issues I think are important are being addressed and that progress is being made. Occasionally I tell the firm that the person has some issues he/she identified that in my mind are prerequisites to the ones you identified so in a way we’re making progress on the issues you identified – without identifying what the issues are. Even if the process is three steps forward and two steps back, at least you’re making a step forward.